• So I hear you’re bored.

    That's okay. Some of history's greatest heroes were once bored, and they went on to do great things. You? Probably not so much. You might be able to score a coffee from Starbucks or something if you can get out of bed before they close. In the meantime, why not read some of these sweet entertainment reviews? Maybe you'll find something to help you fight back against the boredom. Maybe you'll find coffee. Probably not coffee. But maybe.
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    Faceplant by Enosh, Elrood, and Tophat is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at faceplantreview.wordpress.com.
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Mass Effect 3

Obviously this has been a long time coming.  The Mass Effect series is not just a universe in which three games are set.  It is basically one enormous continuing game.  Bioware told us from the start that decisions made in the first game would be carrying over to both two and three.  So now Mass Effect 3 is finally here.  With the expectations of two whole games weighing down on it, Bioware set themselves up to end the series in a spectacular fashion.  More than anything in the series, it’s the characters that captivated me.  Yes, I care about the fate of the universe, but I care even more so about the fate of Shepard, Tali, Liara, Garrus, Wrex, Grunt, Jack, and all the other squad mates that helped me throughout.  Except for James, I didn’t really care what happened to him.

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Dragon Age 2: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

I was a fan of the first Dragon Age game.  The characters were memorable, the story and world gleamed with that Bioware quality they always put into such things, and the combat encouraged actual tactics.  However, the old school style of just choosing exactly what you want to say in conversations via big blocks of text left something to be desired, especially after Bioware’s OTHER nerdgasm, Mass Effect, used a fully voiced main character.    Dragon Age definitely has a place in my gaming heart though which made me very excited to for Dragon Age 2.  After playing the game, I found it difficult to truly decide if Dragon Age 2 was a great game or something slightly less.  Some of the character interactions and plot points are as incredible as anything Bioware has done to this point, but for every “woah!” moment there seems to be a “meh” to balance it out.  I enjoyed my 40 plus hours with game immensely, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it could have been better.

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What is the best game IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE?!

And now for something completely different!  The debate over the best game ever will never be settled of course, but it is always a fun discussion.  All three of us faceplanters take to the interwebs to discuss the matter.  Elrood (THAT IS ME HI I’M WRITING THIS INTRO LOL) will start, with Tophat then Enosh responding, then back to Elrood again, then another round until the question is settled or we’re all not friends anymore.  Onward!

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The blog has been stolen by ninjas

Video games have come a long way in terms of story over the past three decades.  Back in the days when 8 bit was the new 4 bit and you had to use your imagination to fill in the gaps between those pixels, the only plot you really needed was “you’re a good guy.  Everyone else is bad.  Kill kill kill.”

Today you have games with writers, real honest-to-god screen writers coming up with dialogue and plot twists, almost like video games are becoming a form of art.  (Eat it Ebert)  Games are now produced with a budget big enough to rival today’s blockbuster movies, and even in the goriest hack-n-slash game, you can find something unexpected.  Still, games can present a unique challenge to writers, since there are certain elements that absolutely need to be in each game.

There needs to be action.  There needs to be a lot of action and combat and Madden football and poker, or, I dunno, random white rhinos charging Cabella or something.  Therefore, most action and adventure games seem to fall into one of four generic game molds, with their story crafted around a simple premise you might find in an old school NES game.

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General Mish-Mash: Podcasting with poorly drawn Potatoes

General Mishmash is a REAL man's potato.

Stuff. You talk about it. Sometimes you wish other people talked about it too. Well, we are other people. Presenting the first Faceplant podcast, General Mish-Mash episode 1! We hit some of the hottest topics in the universe today, such as why hammocks are awesome. Seriously. But we also talk about how 3d games will be invading our lives and making them more….expensive? Speaking of expensive, Tophat freaks out and explains why Modern Warfare 2’s DLC is the devil and we’re all idiots. We also hit on some other big games such as Borderlands and Left 4 Dead 2, but really sink our teeth into what makes Mass Effect 2 great. And terrible. And also, kinda ehhh. With quick hits on game remakes, developers mailing it in, and many reasons why Enosh sucks, you can’t afford not to listen. Enjoy!  (The voice we referred to as “Peck” is actually “Tophat”.  Don’t ask.) Continue reading

Mass Effect 2: Import your bad decisions today!

Okay, lets face it.  People were anticipating the release of Mass Effect 2 like trolls sitting under a bridge waiting for billy goats to messily devour.  It was fabled to be like a god among video games, ready to be released by Bioware at any point to descend to our poor mortal realm to turn all the water in the world into wine for some reason.  And for good reason!  The first Mass Effect was one of the best RPGs to appear on the Xbox 360 thus far, answering burning questions, like if an epic scale role playing game can exist in the depths of space, if there is, indeed life in the galaxy, and if maybe, just maybe we can get our freak on with a weird snake-headed blue chick.

Anyway, there’s numerous, countless decisions you can make over the course of Mass Effect one and two, so it seemed fair that, like the game, this review will have multiple endings, with contributions from all of the Faceplant staff. Continue reading