• So I hear you’re bored.

    That's okay. Some of history's greatest heroes were once bored, and they went on to do great things. You? Probably not so much. You might be able to score a coffee from Starbucks or something if you can get out of bed before they close. In the meantime, why not read some of these sweet entertainment reviews? Maybe you'll find something to help you fight back against the boredom. Maybe you'll find coffee. Probably not coffee. But maybe.
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    Faceplant by Enosh, Elrood, and Tophat is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at faceplantreview.wordpress.com.
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Oh hello.

Wow. What’s been going on here lately? The place looks like a ghost town. No new content for over a week is a record I’d hoped we’d never achieve, but here we are. For my part I broke a bone near my elbow in a work related incident about a week and a half ago which has made typing difficult. In fact I was surprised by how many activities require the ability to twist or move my arm in such a way that it affects my elbow. Good news is I will have a short post tomorrow.

Gaming on the Go: I Smell an iPhony

Like many forms of technology I have developed a seriously pendulant love-hate relationship with smartphones. On the one hand all I ever wanted was a cellphone that made high quality phone calls. On the other the thought of the entirety of the internet in the palm of my hand is a temptation I cannot resist. So I got a refurbished iPhone a while back. The trouble with owning a smartphone is you will eventually start loading it up with games, which forces me to question whether or not these games can in any way be comparable to those on my Xbox or PC. At first glance the answer seems to be an obvious no, but you have to boil down the concept of gaming to really look at what phone games have to offer. Continue reading

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: Whedon fever

This isn’t so much a discussion of another Joss Whedon project as it is another attempt to prove the adage that misery loves company. Don’t get me wrong. Watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog was far from a horrible experience. In fact, a parody of the vlog phenomenon in a super villain format is really the only way to successfully mock the short comings of the format. Everybody loves to cheer for the bumbling would be evil genius whose plans to better the world through domination as he is constantly thwarted by a man the public has misunderstood as a hero. The trouble starts when that little ball starts bouncing. Continue reading

America Day: Celebrating freedom with AC

Happy Independence Day everyone! It’s time to celebrate our thrashing of the British over 200 years ago. Normally on the Fourth of July I’d be outside cooking raw meat over flames I built myself before shooting several weeks worth of gas money into the air to make war against the clouds in a noisy and spectacular fashion. But the temperature is in the triple digits and the humidity is very nearly so. That means going outside could very well kill me, well, more likely my grandma. I’m also banned from shooting off fireworks on account of a drought we’ve got going on around here. They even cancelled the official display this year. So if it’s all the same to you I’ll stay in doors today. Continue reading

The Big Bang Theory: I’ve made an ass out of u and me

When CBS began advertising The Big Bang Theory sometime around 2007 I thought, “Oh no. The 40 Year Old Virgin got his own TV show. The American public can now laugh at nerds in their valiant but futile efforts to reproduce.” And once it got underway I never gave it another thought. A few people at work over the years have encouraged me to watch the show and I’ve flatly ignored them. My wife started watching it a couple weeks ago and obviously I caught a few episodes. Next thing I know it’s the only thing I watch in the evenings thanks to TBS who shows it like four times a night weekdays. Continue reading

The Million Dollar Hotel: Mocking art school dropouts for fun and profit

It was an unusual Friday afternoon. I’d been up since 5 and on the news twice…man seeks happiness through many avenues but rather finds it outside the company of those he frequently hates…A slow day really. In my somnolent state I was assaulted by a G-man with three arms and a retarded philosopher. The nuthouse noir rattled my senses…love is the water of the soul. It starts as a trickle and slowly erodes until nothing is left but a wide smooth current dragging down everything in its path…The puzzle box opened and the pieces tumbled out with no consideration for their future placement. The box art lost in a puddle of urine, I found myself struggling to cope with a story entered somewhere beyond the beginning. Continue reading

Trilisk Ruins

My new-found interest in Kindle-based sci-fi novels is leading me to tackle books I never thought I’d touch. A friend of mine had a mom who was obsessed with science fiction novels when we were kids. They had this really neat library balcony type thing and it was full of dime store novels in which the captain always looses his shirt in fights and runs off with the alien girl. At the time I thought it was all cheesy to the extreme. I held a similar view of tv shows in the genre until my brother got me started on Stargate: Atlantis. It turns out I’m willing to tolerate a bit of cheese if the science is sufficiently intriguing and the characters are fascinating. The question is, does The Trilisk Ruins by Michael McCloskey meet my now lowered standards? Continue reading

Leviathan: We just buried his helmet

When it comes to bizarre encounters on the ocean floor, there’s Abyss and there’s everything else. Leviathan falls squarely in the everything else category. If you ask me it’s just a Thing rewrite someone decided was an acceptable alternative. Luckily the movie features an all-star cast full of the cream of the 80’s B list crop for our amusement. Led by Robocop himself, the roles they are known for are so iconic it’s difficult if not impossible to constantly be think of them in that context. Whether it’s Ghostbuster’s Winston being overly emotional or Top Gun’s Goose being girl crazy, it feels like a mild case of typecasting. There’s also a weird Kristie Alley look-a-like with the creepiest blue eyes you’ve ever seen.

Continue reading

Graham Linehan is a very funny fellow, Right!

I made a startling discovery which regular readers who share my imdb obsession may find difficult to believe. It turns out three of my all time favorite British sitcoms were created by the same man. Who would have guessed? While Graham Linehan had absolutely nothing to do with my number one favorite British comedy Spaced, he did develop, write and direct the next three on the list. It just so happens I’ve been following his career without ever noticing. Continue reading

League of Legends: D cups full of Justice

What do you get when you start with a real-time strategy game, automate the armies, and give the player control of a single champion on a team of five champions in a tower defense map? A nice little free to play game called League of Legends. Tophat and Elrood and myself have been sticking to our “gaming on a budget” plan with few exceptions as of late so a little LoL was right up our alley. Funny thing about League of Legends though, it seems that the character’s strength is based largely on their cup size. Continue reading