• So I hear you’re bored.

    That's okay. Some of history's greatest heroes were once bored, and they went on to do great things. You? Probably not so much. You might be able to score a coffee from Starbucks or something if you can get out of bed before they close. In the meantime, why not read some of these sweet entertainment reviews? Maybe you'll find something to help you fight back against the boredom. Maybe you'll find coffee. Probably not coffee. But maybe.
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Savages

Savages is a crazy movie.  It has drugs, sex, but no rock and roll.  The rock and roll is replaced by a totally out of place upbeat ringtone.  It has the young nerdy guy who played the lead in Kick Ass play a buffed out professional weed scientist.  (The movie doesn’t call him that, but I like how it sounds).  It has Blake Lively again proving she’s a real actress by pretending to get really high and really vulnerable (it’s just like The Town!).  This film was directed by Oliver Stone, so going in, I think we all knew it was going to be crazy.  The real question then is:  Is it a good film?  Uuuhh….it is, kind of?

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Sleep deprivation and the consequences therein

 

So here’s a question for you. Why is it that humans are born without useable teeth? Why must we bear the process of them boring through several layers of tissue before we can use them? The whole concept sounds incredibly painful my daughter clearly agrees. I’m sure my wife finds the process incredibly necessary in order to avoid tissue damage on her end but it does nothing for my sleep habits. Anyway, this post has a high probability of incoherence as a result of three nights of very little sleep. According to this nifty app on my phone I’ve gotten a combined total of five hours of sleep over the last two nights. Continue reading

Beyond Good and Evil: Color coordination and camera angles

Just a girl, a camera, and a deep love for the color green.

Beyond Good and Evil may have come out a console generation ago, but as is often the case with games from the past, its still available to play through the magic of Xbox Live.  Hailed as one of those “very good but under appreciated” games that people can’t seem to EVER shut up about (except me, of course.  I NEVER do that), I picked up this one to see what it’s deal is.  While Beyond Good and Evil is a unique story with a very different way of approaching a problem, you can unfortunately easily peg it as a game of yesteryear.  Namely, through the way that the REAL villain of the game, against whom you will struggle endlessly and futilely, is the dreaded camera angle.  But we’ll get to that in a moment.

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Slender

Being scared is fun.  I wrote recently in an article about E3 that I was concerned that legitimate scares are going the way of the dodo in gaming.  Resident Evil has co-op and is more action, Dead Space 3 looks like it’s following that trend more and more every time I read something new about it……where are the scares?  Where is the game that you want to play at night, with the lights off, alone?  What will take you back to that first time you played Resident Evil or Silent Hill and even though the graphics were lame and controls were wonky, you felt like you were THERE and not just sitting in your living room?  Oh, that game is called Slender?  And it’s free, right here on the internet?  Yes.

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2000 AD: Not the comic, the bug

Tophat has become our resident action movie critic but since he finds foreign films pretentious and confusing looks like I’ll have to take the wheel on this one. It’s an exciting little number from Hong Kong called 2000 A.D. It is completely devoid of pretensions and is no more confusing than Die Hard II, and come to think of it I think Tophat mostly hates European movies but never the less. Remember when everybody thought the Y2k bug was a trendy way to make people afraid of the power of computers? No? Well do you remember the plot from Live Free or Die Hard? No? Why are we friends again? Anyway, all you need to know is computers can be used for evil and stuff. And remember a vintage 10 pound laptop “can do more damage than an atomic bomb.” Not including the damage from the exploding battery. Oh wait. That was a cellphone. Was it a Nokia? Anyway, throw in some, earlier movie spoiler alert, motivation to avenge a dead brother and you got yourself a movie. Continue reading

The Color of Magic: Putting the WTF back into fantasy

The slightly baffling book made into a slightly baffling movie!

I’ve reviewed a few Terry Pratchett books here on Faceplant, what because of how I find his books to be entertaining, and about how I am always straight up desperate for stuff to review on this humble website.  The Color of Magic was actually the very first Discworld novel Pratchett ever wrote.  But never mind that now.  Turns out there was a two-part made-for-TV movie that was released a while back, which I stumbled across on Netflicks.  I’ve never read The Color of Magic.  I understand that I am doing it backwards by watching the film adaptation first but ehhh, we’re just going to roll with this.

It turns out Pratchett’s first foray into Discworld was much more sci-fi oriented than fantasy, which is okay.  There’s still a liberal helping of wizards, barbarians and magic thrown in there too.

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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Oh jeepers

OH JEEPERS! THERE ARE ROBOTS, MR. WILSON

Oh man I totally TOLD you guys this was double Tophat post week on Monday, didn’t I?  Look at me carrying through with promises that no one was really looking forward to, or will even enjoy.  I do this for you.  My fan.  Yes, I’m pretty sure there is only about 1.3 of you out there, and it’s always difficult holding a conversation with .3 of a person.  Oh look at that I’m rambling again.  Lets just move on to the portion of this post where I actually talk about something entertainment-ways.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.  Wait, sorry.  I mean SKY CAPTAIN and the WORLD OF TOMORROW.  The caps are key for drama, you see.  It’s a movie that features a guy, some zeppelins, giant robots, and also possibly Gwyneth Paltrow.

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Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: Whedon fever

This isn’t so much a discussion of another Joss Whedon project as it is another attempt to prove the adage that misery loves company. Don’t get me wrong. Watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog was far from a horrible experience. In fact, a parody of the vlog phenomenon in a super villain format is really the only way to successfully mock the short comings of the format. Everybody loves to cheer for the bumbling would be evil genius whose plans to better the world through domination as he is constantly thwarted by a man the public has misunderstood as a hero. The trouble starts when that little ball starts bouncing. Continue reading

Monster by A. Lee Martinez

Mon-STAHR. It’s french (not really)

So, here’s the deal:  Imma review a book for you all here really fast, so I can get on off to the Netflicks to watch a movie.  See, Elrood is on sabbatical in Connecticut, where he is quite obviously doing nothing more than sitting around drinking tea with a bunch of high rolling trust fund babies and talking about the good old days, when hiring poor people meant you could force them to work 15 hour shifts.  This also means it is DOUBLE TOPHAT POST WEEK.  Here, for reference, is where you can start visualizing the confetti rain.

Anyway, the book I’m reviewing today is Monster, by A. Lee Martinez.  Usually I have a fun and witty tale about how I have acquired my books, but not this time around!  I have no idea.  None.  It’s just here.  In my apartment.  With pages.

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The Amazing Spider-Man

I’m old.  28 is approaching 30 I realize, but that’s not why I feel this way.  They rebooted…..Spider Man.  Now, remember Batman?  Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Tim Burton, the one that came out in 1989.  I saw it back then in theaters, because my Dad did NOT listen to my mom and keep me out of such violent films even though I was six.  But I’ll be honest, I don’t REMEMBER it really.  Just bits and pieces.  So as I found myself sitting in the theater for The Amazing Spider-Man, I came the realization that I REMEMBERED the Sam Raimi 2002 film.  Not in a “I saw that when I was a kid” kind of way, but in an “It feels like I saw that film about a year ago”.  Even though it was ten years, the Raimi film came out in 2002.  Can we really do this again so soon?  I liked that 2002 movie!  It turns out that we can.  Hollywood can basically make the same film and have it be an enormous hit.

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