• So I hear you’re bored.

    That's okay. Some of history's greatest heroes were once bored, and they went on to do great things. You? Probably not so much. You might be able to score a coffee from Starbucks or something if you can get out of bed before they close. In the meantime, why not read some of these sweet entertainment reviews? Maybe you'll find something to help you fight back against the boredom. Maybe you'll find coffee. Probably not coffee. But maybe.
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    Faceplant by Enosh, Elrood, and Tophat is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at faceplantreview.wordpress.com.
    Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://faceplant.co.

Let me tell you a story, son

THE LOST CITY OF FACEPLANT!  Okay fine, it's called Petra or whatever, according to flyicarusfly.com

THE LOST CITY OF FACEPLANT! Okay fine, it’s called Petra or whatever, according to flyicarusfly.com

Once upon a time there was a website.  It was a pretty alright, all things considered, frequently updated by three nerdy, slightly hyperactive young men by the names of Enosh, Elrood and Tophat.  The point of this website was to review entertaining things, what so the wide world of the internet would never again have to search through miles of shit in order to find those ever elusive gems of brilliance.

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Oh hello.

Wow. What’s been going on here lately? The place looks like a ghost town. No new content for over a week is a record I’d hoped we’d never achieve, but here we are. For my part I broke a bone near my elbow in a work related incident about a week and a half ago which has made typing difficult. In fact I was surprised by how many activities require the ability to twist or move my arm in such a way that it affects my elbow. Good news is I will have a short post tomorrow.

I am sick

HEY CUZ.

So hey.

Hey.

Here’s the deal.

I am not feeling so hot.  It’s nothing major, I’m sure.  Just a general case of the blahs that is making it difficult to think and makes me take legendary naps.  Yet, somehow, I find myself inexorably drawn back to Faceplant.  Routine has reared its ugly head.  I have to write an article because this is just what Tophat does on Sunday evenings.  I feel like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, a sick feeling in my gut as I know that it is time to watch Price is Right but there are no TVs around me anywhere.  Uh oh.  7 p.m.  Time to write Faceplant.  Uh oh.  7:01.  UH OH.

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Gaming on the Go: I Smell an iPhony

Like many forms of technology I have developed a seriously pendulant love-hate relationship with smartphones. On the one hand all I ever wanted was a cellphone that made high quality phone calls. On the other the thought of the entirety of the internet in the palm of my hand is a temptation I cannot resist. So I got a refurbished iPhone a while back. The trouble with owning a smartphone is you will eventually start loading it up with games, which forces me to question whether or not these games can in any way be comparable to those on my Xbox or PC. At first glance the answer seems to be an obvious no, but you have to boil down the concept of gaming to really look at what phone games have to offer. Continue reading

In defense of the violence

There are better things that I’d rather be arguing about.  That’s the sentiment I feel every single time some random jerk with a gun flies off the handle starts shooting people while shouting comic book quotes.  Every time, it seems like emphasis is placed on what could have been done to prevent a tragedy.  Should we limit guns?  Are comics and video games too violent?  What about movies and TV shows?  What happened to the good old days where no one used guns except for the hunting of deer, only during approved government established hunting times?  What is our government going to do to stop this from happening again?

The intent of this article is not to trivialize the recent events in Aurora, Colorado.  My prayers and deepest condolences go out to all of the victims and their families.  My point is to talk about the violence we see in movies and comics and games each year, in a desperate bid for us to start placing the blame for these horrors on the individuals that cause them, and not on the usual scapegoats.

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Sleep deprivation and the consequences therein

 

So here’s a question for you. Why is it that humans are born without useable teeth? Why must we bear the process of them boring through several layers of tissue before we can use them? The whole concept sounds incredibly painful my daughter clearly agrees. I’m sure my wife finds the process incredibly necessary in order to avoid tissue damage on her end but it does nothing for my sleep habits. Anyway, this post has a high probability of incoherence as a result of three nights of very little sleep. According to this nifty app on my phone I’ve gotten a combined total of five hours of sleep over the last two nights. Continue reading

America Day: Celebrating freedom with AC

Happy Independence Day everyone! It’s time to celebrate our thrashing of the British over 200 years ago. Normally on the Fourth of July I’d be outside cooking raw meat over flames I built myself before shooting several weeks worth of gas money into the air to make war against the clouds in a noisy and spectacular fashion. But the temperature is in the triple digits and the humidity is very nearly so. That means going outside could very well kill me, well, more likely my grandma. I’m also banned from shooting off fireworks on account of a drought we’ve got going on around here. They even cancelled the official display this year. So if it’s all the same to you I’ll stay in doors today. Continue reading