Alas! Alas poor readers of Faceplant, for this is a tragic day! This is, sadly, the day that Enosh, beloved son of a houseplant and a giraffe, has shaken off this mortal coil to join his ancestors in Bloghalla. Wednesday is supposed to be Enosh post day, but alas, alas, this is not the Enosh post before you. He must be dead. What else could he be? As you read these words, I’m sure his body is even now being prepared to be set afloat into the sea, to be lit ablaze by mourners, who are too wracked with grief to vocalize their emotions sufficiently. Don’t cry for Enosh. He is already dead.
Enosh was a man of mystery, in part due to the fact that I just made that up right now. Elrood, too, has mysteriously vanished, which has lead me to two conclusions: Either A) he is the one responsible for Enosh’s death, or B) Whatever got to Enosh has also claimed dear, noble Elrood. May the two of them write endless sonnets of video game reviews across the great long tables of Bloghalla (which is totally a real place that I didn’t make up on the fly. It’s also fun to say, give it a whirl).
Also, this means my life may also be in danger, if there is a mysterious force hell bent on snuffing out the Faceplant staff. Not to worry, I have already entered Biblionerdette into the Witness Protection Program, which was a feat in itself because she has not witnessed anything.
As for me, I intend to get to the bottom of this tragedy. It will be like an action film, I swear. I will personally track down those responsible for this grave injustice and have a bloody showdown with them on top of a building, which will end with me jumping off the structure backwards while shooting dual pistols upward at a helicopter, which will more than likely explode into a great fireball. Enosh and/or Elrood will be avenged! Stay strong, blogbrothers and blogsisters. We will come through this!
And at the end of all that, there will be a real Faceplant post later today. Maybe once I get home from work? Or maybe if the impossible becomes possible and Enosh rises from the dead like a horrible, disgusting zombie just to change the way you think about movies and video games. Believe in miracles, my friends! Pray for the return of zombie Enosh!