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Doctor Cops: Check your TV listings


It has long since been established that doctors, those brave few who have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of knowledge in the medical field in order to save the lives of those who need help, are also comedic gold.  But, it should be noted, that doctors are only really funny when they are also busy being something ridiculous in addition to their more serious roles as doctors.  I recently stumbled across Doctor Cops, MD, wherein the world’s most badass doctors step up to take the hippocopic oath to catch those who had assaulted the innocent, and possibly cure their patient victims of hand cancer.

But Doctor Cops, MD isn’t a typical web comic.  Written by a man only known as “Andrew,” the tale is presented as a story board for a new prime time television show proposed to a surly television executive by a super-excited fan who is absolutely in love with cop and medical dramas.  While you can, indeed, tune in to see the continuing adventures of Detective Doctor Dick Dynamite and Sergeant Surgeon Solomon Slick, the real draw is to see the interactions of producer Max King and Walter Reid (though he prefers to be called by his pen name, Romeo T. Magnum).

Doctor Cops, MD, is a ridiculous premise.  You know it, I know it, and hell Andrew Mystery knows it (Andrew, if you ever happen to read this, I felt bad that you didn’t have a last name, so I figured I’d give you one. Mystery is now your official last name.  Unless you prefer Awesome to draw out the alliteration).  The adventures you’ll see are full of huge, gaping plot holes, characters jumping miles to conclusions that are totally accurate.  Common sense is thrown out the window in favor of something looking totally sweet.

The worst kind of needles!!

It is, simply put, a hideous mish mash of every god awful stupid medical and cop show you’ve ever seen.  Now, I’m not really a follower of either of these two genres.  Hell, I haven’t had cable TV in going on five years now.  But Andrew’s portrayal of American television still had me laughing, especially when “Romeo” makes a very enthusiastic effort to sex things up around the police station hospital.

Doctor Cops, MD begins with a screen capture of an email, written by Walt to Max King to propose a sweet new show that features doctors and cops.  Walt is very excited about the opportunity, and has a tendency to write like a 13-year-old.  From the second page on, we’re treated to a collapsible log of their discussions at the bottom of just about every page.  Max is much more mature than Walt ever will be, and it seems like he’s been in the industry for a very, very long time.  Max knows Doctor Cops is an awful, terrible piece of shit that critics are going to rip apart and that the idea of watching a single episode makes him physically ill. But, he’s also aware that American TV watchers would absolutely love it.  Doctor Cops, MD, is going to make him a lot of money.  And Max isn’t so sure how to feel about that.

From then on out, we’re treated to some of the best lampooning of American TV I’ve seen on the internet.  Walt even went so far as to decide which actors are going to play which parts, and has lovingly traced his favorite actors into the lead roles.  Playing the part of Detective Doctor Dick Dynamite is Nicholas Cage, who I’m noticing is kind of becoming a bit of a cult icon for hilarity in my web comic travels.   Playing his rival, Sergeant Surgeon Solomon Slick, is none other than Ben Affleck.

Rounding out the cast is Angelina Jolie, Kanye West (because shutter shades are totally sweet, of course), and Jessica Alba (who plays the role of Detective Doctor Jessica Alba, incidentally).  Oh and Gary Bucey is there too, I guess.

I think the painting behind him was commissioned.

The art is…  there.  Each of the actors has been traced into the scene by hand.  You’ll usually only see about three or four different poses per actor, unless they’re doing something completely over the top, which happens every now and then.  The backgrounds themselves serve their function, but they’re largely there for show.  I haven’t seen a detective doctor sit down yet, though there was that one time Detective Doctor Jessica Alba lounged around on the CSI hologram table in a very, uh, PG 13 sort of way.

I think part of the reason why I like Doctor Cops, MD, so much is because it’s something new.  It’s something different.  I browse through a lot of comics over the course of the week, but this is the only one I’ve found that is actually written like a screen play, complete with commentary between the “creator” and someone charged with bringing it to life.

Still, I can see how the comic would be a little off-putting to someone who stumbles in from the outside.  Hell, the first time I saw Doctor Cops, MD, I thought it was just another attempt to capitalize on the ridiculous doctor craze that has grown out of the success of a man named Hastings and his personal Doctor, McNinja.   After returning a few times and actually getting a feel for what the comic is trying to do, however, I realized Doctor Cops isn’t in competition with either of the leading brands, and is very much its own creature.

If you decide to pick up this one, make sure you read the logs at the bottom of every page or you could run the risk of missing out on 90 percent of the humor with each page.  The comic is still somewhat new, so it won’t take you very long to plow through the archives.

Now I’m gonna go back to reading more comics.  It’s what I do.  It’s what I am.

3 Responses

  1. […] number 2: A Review! Yes! This guy gets it. I have been googling myself a bit recently out of curiosity and have found […]

  2. This is my son’s comic! He has been at this since he could hold a pencil! His first grade teacher loved his speech balloons!

  3. Awesome, just awesome !!! I hope itll be published someday for fun 😀
    a french fan

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