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What is the best game IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE?!

And now for something completely different!  The debate over the best game ever will never be settled of course, but it is always a fun discussion.  All three of us faceplanters take to the interwebs to discuss the matter.  Elrood (THAT IS ME HI I’M WRITING THIS INTRO LOL) will start, with Tophat then Enosh responding, then back to Elrood again, then another round until the question is settled or we’re all not friends anymore.  Onward!


Wow, best game ever is a tall order.  I don’t even have an answer for myself, let alone trying to convince Tophat and Enosh to agree with me.  But hey, gotta start somewhere right?  I’m going to start in our current generation of consoles because I feel like comparing PS3 games to SNES games and the like is sort of apples and oranges.  I’d have to give the nod to Bioshock.  That game sucked me in like few ever have.  Its not just that the story is masterfully constructed and fascinating to watch unfold.  It’s the fact that the whole story made me question the view of how we played games in the past.  Why DO we just listen to whatever an NPC tells us, even if we’ve only known that NPC for 13 seconds?  Well, that’s how just video games work!  The guys over at 2k games knew that, which makes the big reveal of the game all the more surprising in my eyes.  I never saw it coming because I hadn’t questioned the logic in years and years of prior gaming.

Tophat insisted we put this in here. STUPID TOPHAT

The other thing Bioshock has working for it is the atmosphere.  Rapture is supremely built and creepy as hell.  The first time I stepped into that city, I deliberately made my character move slow.  Why?  Because it seemed like those tentative first steps off the bathysphere were my own, and I sure as hell wasn’t running into whatever I just got myself into.  Normally a game takes until about the halfway point to suck me in to the point where I’m putting myself in the characters shoes.  Bioshock had me within the first five minutes.


Pfff, Bioshock.  A good game, I’ll grant you, and one that really raised the bar on first person shooters and really made you question why we always play as mute, mindless zombies killing because some random dude on a portable radio said so.  But!  Elrood made the mistake of saying the best game IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE in the title, which leaves a lot of games to consider.

I’m actually having a harder time thinking of my favorite current-generation game than I am with older generations.  Most of the games I’ve played have been graphically better than the games I played on supah-nintendoh, but those are the ones that leave the best impression on me.  If I absolutely had to pick, I’d probably choose Assassin’s Creed.  Both of them?  Can I count two games as one game?  Eh?

I dunno.  I guess I like games that just leave you awake at night, wondering what the hell is really going on.  And to this day, when someone mentions Edison, I immediately tell them he was a creepy bastard.  The game just left an impression on me, and I find myself irritated that the series isn’t done yet so I can find out what’s going on.  But to pick just one game out of the hundreds of thousands of games I’ve played, well…

Uhhh…  I guess Final Fantasy VI still has a pretty big impact on me.  It’s one of the few RPGS I’ve played many, MANY times.  Just can’t beat that good old “everything is screwed forever” feeling you get from playing that game.


Bioshock you may have a legitimate argument for, but Assassin’s Creed? Not bloody likely. How can you make an argument for a game that simply doesn’t allow you to live up to its name sake? Every time you kill a target you end up fleeing the city chased by mobs of angry guards and people. An assassin should be more like a dude from rainbow six or Batman in Arkham Asylum. Drop down out of nowhere, snap a dude’s neck and disappear into the night.

No my friends, the greatest game on a current gen. console is Mass Effect. I whole heartedly believe it is this generation’s Star Wars. And the fact that it’s an interactive video game instead of  a movie just makes it that much more epic. No other game has immersed me so deeply and made me contemplate my decisions with such gravity as ME. I am Commander Enosh Shepherd and I have real feelings for Liara and Wrex. Not to mention the world. Now of course being on the Xbox you can make a legitimate claim that the graphics will never be as good as Final Fantasy, but the world itself is beautiful. I truly enjoyed flying through space and I will be an ME fanboy for life.


I’ll grant you Assassin’s Creed 1 and 2 as one game for these purposes Tophat, but I agree with Enosh that there is no way that game is best.  I love AC, I think the story is a very compelling mystery and I love dissecting it like hell, but the gameplay has some flaws.  Combat is slower than it should be, the climbing controls sometimes make you fly off a building, things like that.  It doesn’t ruin the game by any means, but if we’re talking best game ever, a pretty high standard has to be in order.

I don’t think we can put Mass Effect 1 and 2 as the same game since two is so much better from a UI perspective, but I know you were just referring to the first game, Enosh.  I’ll admit, as I started this article, I was debating on whether to give my vote to Bioshock or Mass Effect…..TWO.  One had a great story and awesome characters, but the inventory system was so terrible that it took me out of the game all the time.  I know we disagree, but I thought ME2 fixed the UI problems of one AND had just as a compelling story.  Much like Bioshock, really great atmosphere that sucks you in to the story almost from the get go.  (We’re just going to pretend Bioshock 2 never happened.  I like that game, but it should have never been made.)

I agree, Tophat, that FF6 deserves some kudos in this.  As great as it was, I think we’re seeing some nostalgia at play here.  Personally, I like FF4 more than FF6, and I think that is because FF4 was the first RPG I played and it blew my fragile young mind.  As much as I love some of those older games, I don’t think we can say they are “best ever” material.  That would be like saying some silent film is the best movie ever made.  That being said, I think we are forgetting a platform here, there is definitely an argument for PC games out there.  It’s not my KIND of game, but I think it would be hard to argue that the Civilization series isn’t brilliant.  And lets not forget our old pals Blizzard.  The two most successful real time strategy games in history in Warcraft and Starcraft, the only dungeon crawler ever to gain mass appeal in Diablo, and the BIGGEST FREAKING GAME IN THE WORLD via World of Warcraft.  Comparing genres becomes difficult, but Starcraft is probably the best RTS ever right, so where does it deserve to go overall?  Has to be up there.


What?  Mass Effect is the best game of all time?  It was good, I’ll give it that.  But to me, when I think of the best game in the universe, I think of something that I’m compelled to play over and over again.  Mass Effect did not do this for me.  Hell, I’ve played Mass Effect 2 more than the original at this point, and I thought that game was decidedly “meh.”  And hell, Enosh, if we start eliminating games just because you suck at them, we’ll be typing this all night and essentially come up with nothing.  Zing!

Starcraft as the best RTS game ever?  Dunno about that.  I think I actually had more fun with Warcraft 3 and Civilization than I did with Starcraft.  Once again, it’s all about replay value.  In Starcraft, it quickly became obvious that each and every mission in the single player was the same:  Build a base, get some dudes and blow up the other base.  The multiplayer degraded into the same kind of strategy.  Build one particular type of unit while you work up toward, I dunno, battleships or something, and try to hold out against the jerk trying to zerg rush you.

I’m going to say lets exclude MMOs from this list entirely.  You might be on speaking terms with the genre, Elrood, but I’m still waiting for an apology and a romantic dinner.

Well, sure, we could exclude everything that happened before the current generation of consoles here, but you have determined this to be a debate of the best game IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE, so unfortunately we have to consider everything, from the original Zelda which defined an entire genre, to Blazeon, which didn’t even have a start menu.  Hell, how can you compete with Mario 3, which held the record for most game units sold for what, decades?

They might be silent films, but those silent films were instrumental in your new, shiny games getting made.  Give credit where credit is due, but don’t automatically dismiss these games because they’re not new and shiny enough for your tastes.


Don’t knock the silent film, as Tophat points out, without it we wouldn’t  have many of the great movies we do today. I mean, Metropolis was one of the best sci-fi movies of all time and none of the people alive today have even seen the whole thing because it got chopped up after the first showing. And you can’t be dissing Mass Effect. The problem with space travel is it takes sooo freaking long and a man can only handle so much blue alien “interaction” so what better way to pass the time then to sort through the insane collection of guns you have plucked from the corpses of your enemies? Looking through the game for that next great sniper rifle is one of the reasons I love Borderlands so much. The chance of new and better loot around the bend gives the game much more playability than Tophat gives it credit for, so stuff it. Also, whether or not I am good at a game does not determine my level of enjoyment. I terrible at the original Driver, but the “millions of cops raining down upon you” mode was so epic how could I not love it. So your AC argument is irrelevant and childish sir.

The more I think about it, the more I’d have to say Super Mario Brothers 3 fits the bill for greatest in the history of the universe. I mean seriously, eight bits of sheer goodness. The game goes on forever. It’s multiplayer. It has beautiful and varied levels and talk about replayability. Nothing is more relaxing and then frustrating than jumping on goombas and those little wrench throwing gopher guys. What was up with those?


I think this all depends on your definition of the word “best”, as cliché as that sounds.  Working within the Tophat world of compelled to play again, then Bioshock is out.  Definitely not the type of game I want to play all the time.  I vehemently disagree with your Starcraft point though, “degrading” into the same kind of strategy.  I suck at Starcraft, I know Tophat sucks at Starcraft, I’m just going to assume Enosh sucks too, but I’ve watched professional Starcraft players play matches and that shit is INSANE.  That game is being replayed to this day, the only thing that is probably going to curb it is the release of Starcraft 2.  What I loved about Starcraft was that it was amazingly balanced.  Any of the three races could defeat any of the others (when played properly).  The kicker was it wasn’t that they were balanced because they all had the same units with different graphical coats of paint on them, but each actually played very differently and it was STILL balanced.

I think I might have come off a bit harsh on silent films, but my point is doing something first is not doing it the best.  Final Fantasy may have been the FIRST game to tell a really compelling story with actual characters instead of just silent drones you controlled, which is certainly worth of praise for trying something new, but other games (hell, other Final Fantasy games!) have since done it better.  Metropolis correctly gets credit because at the time nobody thought you could even approach doing anything like that, and Lang went out and showed people something they had never even considered before.  That doesn’t mean best, that just means first.

So I think best is so hard to judge because its a balancing act of all the thing we’re talking about.  Replay value?  Starcraft, I think you have to include MMO’s in there then, or hell even Call of Duty, how many hours have we all sunk into that game!  Story?  Bioshock for sure, Mass Effect, I think then you could even argue Assassin’s Creed.  Then you can start breaking it down further.  Graphics?  Dead Space was freaking gorgeous, as was Forza 3, but then Crysis wins hands down right?  The game with the sharpest controls I’ve ever played (and I know I’m going to get a ton of shit for this) was Bayonetta!

So I think best is a balance of ALL of those things.  So yeah, Mario.  Not Mario 3 though, Super Mario World for SNES!




Well if your just going to crap all over everything then screw you guys. I’m going to bed. Tophat, I always hated you. I always hated you the most!




9 Responses

  1. I agree that if you consider replay value as a main factor, then MMO’s rule this list. They are designed to keep you playing forever. I’d go with Asheron’s Call (on the Darktide PvP server) as the best MMO.

    However, I think “best” should mean the game that most captured your imagination and held you glued to the TV (or computer) screen. In that case, I’d have to go with Star Wars: KOTOR. By generation: (8-bit) Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, (16-bit) Lunar: Silver Star Story, (32/64-bit): Zelda Ocarina of Time, (Previous Gen) Star Wars: KOTOR, (Current) Mass Effect 2. As you can see, I’m an RPG nut.

    • Aw, that’s the problem with having Elrood start these shenanigans at like 11:30 and expecting us to get done before 5 a.m. There’s a lot of games out there I absolutely loved but didn’t get a chance to mention!
      Lunar was an awesome game! I played through that when they re-released it on PSone, and it was an amazing RPG for its time. I thought combat got a little repetitive, but otherwise that game rocked.
      I guess I didn’t count Ocarina of Time because when we were younger, Elrood was the one with the Nintendo 64, and we spent most of our time hacking our way through Hexen. I think I got to the part where I had to get a smaller fish to get inside a bigger fish to get some kind of pendant. Sounds about right.
      As for Punch Out! well, I was still working out the hand-eye coordination back in those days. I’d always be really happy and feel like a badass when I knocked out Glass Joe in like 15 seconds, and then become disappointed when I realized there were more dudes to fight after that, and what’s more they love to beat me within an inch of my life.
      Anyway, nice list! RPGs rock.

  2. I’d be very curious to hear your arguments for Punch Out! I loved the game and King Hippo was one of my favorite videogame characters of all time, but I’m not convinced it was the best game of all time.

  3. Punch Out is my pick for best game of the 8-bit generation, not all time. Best all time is Star Wars: KOTOR. I didn’t even like Star Wars at the time it came out. That game completely hooked me and then I fell in love with Star Wars.

    As for Punch Out, it was a close call with Legend of Zelda. The difference maker was that I lost interest in Zelda and then picked it back up a few months later and finally beat it–kid with a short attention span. Beating Punch Out was a mission in life. I couldn’t go a day without trying to get past the next nemesis and figuring out their weaknesses. Even with the replay value, I could pick up Punch Out anytime, play it all the way through, and still never get bored with it.

    The game kept you on your toes and focused. The story was simple, but the characters were awesome, and the action was nonstop. The magic of the original Punch Out formula has never been equaled. In fact, outside of the Punch Out series, I don’t think anyone else has even tried. How do you compete with perfection?

    There were other games from the 8-bit generation, such as Super Mario 2 & 3, Metroid, etc,. that no doubt will rank higher on most peoples’ lists. While I enjoyed those games, I never really got the 2D platform genre (Kid Chameleon for Genesis was my favorite overall 2D platformer).

    • Kid Chameleon? Nice! Did you ever manage to beat that game? I sunk a lot of hours into that game too, but I never once saw hide nor hair of anything resembling an ending.

    • Great argument for Punch Out! (I did catch the 8-bit qualification) I think the major problem with making an argument for the best of something from our childhood is our complete and utter lack of objectivity as children. There is no way I could convince you to change your mind about Punch Out! and at the same time you could never change my mind that Star Wars: X-Wing was one of the greatest flight simulators of all time. That game forced me to learn DOS commands (I always played it at a friend’s house and when he fell asleep I could not for the life of me figure out how to get into it). I don’t know why it suddenly popped into my head, but that is probably the game I spent the most time on as a kid. “The frigate Redemption is receiving wounded…” It took me so long to get that stupid A-Wing to survive that battle and protect all those injured rebels. Man, I can still remember some of my dog fighting strategies. They weren’t as good as my friends. He actually studied military dog fighting techniques to play the game. The worst was when his joystick broke and you had to wing the mouse a hundred times in one direction to rolled around on an enemy. And who could beat running the Deathstar trench in a B-Wing? Such a cool game. I wonder if the discs are still at my parents house….You guys go on without me.

      • I probably spent more time with Kid Chameleon than I did with any other platformer. I still didn’t beat it–cleanly. There was a code that got you either near the end or at the final stage. If anyone beat Kid Chameleon without the code, I have more respect for that than beating Contra with out Up, Up, Down, Down.

        Agreed that I look at Punch Out with a ton of nostalgia. I still play it to this day on the Wii console. I never played Star Wars: X-Wing, but Wing Commander I & II were the shit!

  4. X-Wing was great, but Tie Fighter was even better! Doing secret objectives for the Emperor himself and putting down those pesky rebels was awesome. Granted they just made up different types of Tie fighters because to play the whole game without shields would have sucked, but it was s probably necessary. I agree with the part where using the mouse sucked, I totally broke one trying to do a tight turn or something. My parents were pissed. LAY OFF DAD I’M STOPPING A REBELLION NOW GET ME ANOTHER MOUSE.

  5. Well first I’ll speak for what all my friends say at school. They always talk about call of duty Moden warfare 2 for xbox 360 while using there live. Well I don’t have the game so I can’t say that’s my favorite game with little to none experiance. But the game that I would say is the best game for me right now would have to be midnight club dub edition remix or midnight club L.A. (Los Angelas). Pretty much the Midnight Clubs by Rock Star Games.

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