Sploding in 30 Seconds: XBLA Goodness

Microsoft’s summer of arcade is here!  Two of the games are out and….what’s that?  Oh, the two games I’m reviewing are NOT summer of arcade?  They’re older?  Are you questioning Faceplant’s sense of timeliness?  Well ok yeah, Enosh did just review a British crime film from 2009 but I don’t think that’s fair.  Haha that is so true voice nobody but me can hear, Enosh DOES suck.  Anyway, two games!  Granted, they may not be part of the official “Summer of Arcade” that Microsoft does, but it’s always nice to get some high quality XBLA games.  One is a sequel to a previous summer of arcade gem, and the other is a port of a PSP game.  Both remind me of old school gaming experiences, though in completely different genres.  Maybe I’ll get to Bastion or From Dust, but for now, let’s do some sploding or play an entire epic RPG quest in 30 seconds.

Hard Corps: Uprising

CONTRA.  You probably remember it.  Get a gun, get a friend who dresses like you, learn to jump by putting your legs over your head and spinning like a gymnast, and start blasting away.  Who doesn’t love a 2D side scrolling good time?  It’s a franchise that has lots of history, but none of it makes any sense.  I don’t really know if that’s true, I haven’t followed the series over the years, but I do know this ; Hard Corps: Uprising on XBLA makes no sense what so ever from a story perspective.  Something to do with a world ruling empire, headed by a guy named Tiberius.  Whatever, it’s not important.  What IS important in a game like this is the actual gameplay.  Luckily for sidescrolling action fans, the game plays much like any other contra game (in a good way) but has enough new things going for it that it’s definitely a unique experience.

XBLA 3: Indie edition

I realize the timing of this is down right awful, what with us on the cusp of another Holiday season game release frenzy, but after you’ve woken from your New Year’s Eve (unless you’re in China. Is WordPress blocked in China?) haze stumble back to your computer and remember this article. Here you will find a few simple games that bring me sweet addictive joy. Tophat has some deep-seated hatred for indie games. Secretly I think he’s afraid they’re all games that either turn your controller into something naughty or they resemble some creepiness found under the mature tab on Newgrounds. And while those games certainly do exist, the former in abundance, personally I find the indie games section of Xbox Live Arcade to be an exciting forum for creative talent with no money and no interest in Flash. I admit, the games I selected for this post are not shining examples of shoestring budget masterpieces but I like them and I want to let other people know. I hope to bring you more of my favorite and some that make me wish there was a return policy, but for now here are two I play too often.

Comic Jumper: the adventures of every 2D game you’ve ever played before

So, I know I usually lump one or two Xbox Live games together in these articles and make a huge production about it or something, but time is short and I sort of forgot to eat today.  So, to save us all some time we’ll just touch on the best downloadable game I’ve played lately.  I have been pumped for Comic Jumper: The Adventures of Captain Smiley ever since me and Elrood plowed through the exceptionally difficult Splosion Man a few months back.  Twisted Pixel has proven itself to be a rare sort of video game company, the kind that has humor forefront in their minds, and those searching for a serious plot can go eff off.

XBLA 2: I’ve lost that shining feeling

Has your wallet been stolen by ninjas?  Are you not a bad enough dude to get it back?  It might be time to hit up Xbox Live for your next game.  There’s a lot of gems and a lot of junk in the Xbox Live system though, so make sure you know what you’re getting into before you start digitally buying Microsoft points.  This week we’ll touch on Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgement and Sam and Max: Beyond Time and Space, since both of these games are kinda short for a full post each.  I guess this is the second installment of Xbox Live Adventures.  If you missed the first one, check it out here.

Castlevania: Harmony of Despair is super old school

Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade continues with the ultra confusing vampire/zombie/frankenmonster/ice demon/skeleton riding half a horse/ slaying cast of pretty much every Castlevania game ever.  The big hook of this offering is Co-Op, new to the Castlevania series.  Throw in some RPG elements such as evolving attacks and equipment and you have an intriguing old school side scrolling offering.

Limbo lives up to its moniker

Microsoft’s first offering in the now annual summer of arcade is different than expected.  It is not the type of game I would think Microsoft would want to put out as the head of a large scale promotion, but here it is.  What does Limbo bring to the table?  A striking art style, solid platforming, some tricky puzzles, and a remarkable amount of violence.

Xbox Live Adventures 1

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?  The newest and shiniest game just came out and you’re the only one of your friends too poor to afford it, what with all those fancy Santa dolls you collect in your spare time.  You could always sell one of them, but at this point they’re like family, which makes sense since everyone you know avoids your home because of the cold, dead eyes of your hideous Santa collection.  Santa’s watching.  Always.

But never fear, my unsettlingly creepy friend!  There are tons of gems to find if you’re a member of Xbox Live for a fraction of the cost of a full game.  This guide will give you some pointers on what games to look for, which ones to avoid, and which ones will help pass the time while you wait for that next paycheck.  You might notice this article is titled “Xbox Live Adventures 1.”  The one means there will be more.  Oh yes, there will be more.  Probably maybe.