Super Mario DS: A remake to remind you of your failures

BEST BUDS

Here’s a little known fact about my younger days: I went through a bit of a rocky patch in my gaming ability around the same time that Nintendo 64 was released, which inevitably unleashed 3D gaming upon a poor, 2D-centric world.  At the time when Mario 64 was released, I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I had chased Dr. Robotnic out of town with Sonic and Tails, and Elrood and I were taking the fight to some jerkface aliens in Contra Hard Corps.  But, the moment Mario sprung that third dimension on me without warning, it felt like any ability I might once have had was suddenly and horribly leeched out of me by some cartoony aliens who…  you know what?  No.  I’m not going to make a Space Jam reference.  You’re welcome.

Mario 64 is one of my first failures as a gamer.  I was bad at it.  I was so incredibly bad at it.  So when Nintendo re-released it for DS as the creatively named Super Mario DS, I picked it up. Because apparently it wasn’t embarrassing enough the first time.

Mario and Luigi: Bowsers Inside Story

I don’t really have much to review this week, so I’m going to hit up an older game I’ve had laying around for a while.  I’m not sure why I didn’t review this one before now, though come to think of it I probably avoided it because the name of the game made it exceptionally difficult for me to put a smart ass title on the post.  But I’ll do it down here instead.  Mario and Luigi: Bowsers Inside Story – OM NOM NOM NOM.

Okay, yeah enough of that.  Bowsers Inside Story is the third installment of the ever popular Mario and Luigi games, bringing continuing the ongoing tradition of RPGs starring Mario being inexplicably good and an awesome idea to produce.  Though, honestly, some sections drag on a little long.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii: Did you know crows are really smart?

There are a couple of things everybody should know about Nintendo. First, their developers seem to derive some sick pleasure from finding new and exciting ways to kill and generally infuriate you as you try to navigate their bizarre worlds. Second, their office must be in some dark, dank basement full of cubicles designed to isolate their employees from each other and humanity as a whole because multiplayer capabilities have always been not just an after thought, but intentionally complicated if not impossible.

And yet, Tophat and I agreed to play Super Mario Brothers Wii with my wife. Somehow we failed to connect the dots.

What I want for Christmas from video games

I’m angry.  I was never a Scrooge before.  Holiday time!  Trees! Presents! Santa!  But not anymore.  Oh no those magical childhood days of unicorns and guitar playing chimpanzees (my childhood was freaking great ok) are over.  How can I tell?  I don’t want new video games for Christmas.  Games worthy of our duckets come out every single month of the year now.  What I want heading in to the new year is some stuff to CHANGE.  Games are great, we write about them, you guys come here and read about them (that isn’t totally true, we definitely write about them but most of you come here to check out the pictures of hot chicks from Blizzcon, but whatever) and everybody is happy.  That doesn’t mean there aren’t  some fantastically stupid things going out in the land of interactive media though.  What do I want for Christmas?  I, much like our President, want CHANGE.  Not in a healthy country affirming way, I don’t have time to worry about that.  I want the experience of being a gamer, be it the games or how we play them, to change.  So let’s get on it developers.  Let’s make 2011, which looks like another enormous year for gaming, a step in the right direction.  Or, let’s at least stop being stupid.

A generation of super intelligent pixel babies

I have a crippling, debilitating disease that has devoured countless thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours in the past year.  Just about every time I seem to get ahead financially, the symptoms start acting up again, and it’s time for me to make an appointment with a specialist, whose main job is simply to tell me how much money it’s going to take to get life back to normal this time.  They can only tell me this after locking me in a room with the horrors of daytime TV for about three to four hours.  The diagnosis alone usually runs me around ninety bucks, but the soul sucking horrors of that small TV make it feel like I’ve given more, oh god, so much more.

What is the best game IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE?!

And now for something completely different!  The debate over the best game ever will never be settled of course, but it is always a fun discussion.  All three of us faceplanters take to the interwebs to discuss the matter.  Elrood (THAT IS ME HI I’M WRITING THIS INTRO LOL) will start, with Tophat then Enosh responding, then back to Elrood again, then another round until the question is settled or we’re all not friends anymore.  Onward!

Red Dead Redemption: The Pinnacle of Storytelling?

The following deals with the themes and story found in Red Dead Redemption. It was spawned by a conversation that I had with Enosh in the comment section of his RDR review. I just recently finished the game and really feel like some of the things it explores in the narrative are worthy of examination. This article contains MAJOR spoilers for RDR. Do not read this if you intend to play the game or are in the process of doing so. If you have played the game or never plan to, I’d say start by reading Enosh’s review and the comments, then come back to this. I will admit this might be difficult to follow at points if your not familiar with the game at all, but I think the themes manage to show through. If you have any questions, leave a comment, I will respond! In case you can’t tell by the article, I would be eager to talk about any of this. Happy reading!