Hark! Hark ye wee beasties and gather ’round, for it is time now for me to tell you the story of Elrood! This is a man who has lead our tribe into glory, armed with naught but a sharpened stick and a PS3 controller. He is a legend among his kind, which is impressive saying as how he is the sole remaining member of a cabal of ancient yet honorable nerd ninjas who have transcended the Guitar Hero and Rock Band franchises to actually become their own bands. (more…)
Microsoft’s summer of arcade is here! Two of the games are out and….what’s that? Oh, the two games I’m reviewing are NOT summer of arcade? They’re older? Are you questioning Faceplant’s sense of timeliness? Well ok yeah, Enosh did just review a British crime film from 2009 but I don’t think that’s fair. Haha that is so true voice nobody but me can hear, Enosh DOES suck. Anyway, two games! Granted, they may not be part of the official “Summer of Arcade” that Microsoft does, but it’s always nice to get some high quality XBLA games. One is a sequel to a previous summer of arcade gem, and the other is a port of a PSP game. Both remind me of old school gaming experiences, though in completely different genres. Maybe I’ll get to Bastion or From Dust, but for now, let’s do some sploding or play an entire epic RPG quest in 30 seconds.
I used to *LOVE* Mortal Kombat back in the day. I remember once being in a bar with my cousins while my father and uncle were deep in very adult like conversation. I was probably about 10, so screw CONVERSING, there was an original Mortal Kombat arcade cabinet! I was terrible at the game, but luckily my cousins were no better. The key to this whole endeavor was that somehow my cousins and I knew the inputs for one of Scorpions fatalities. Hold block, press down twice and Scorpion would rip off his mask and then SET A DUDE ON FIRE. In the current MK game I’m about to talk about this would be very pedestrian. At the time though, this blew my fragile young mind in how awesome it was. Many of my Dad’s dollars that night went into the MK machine. The latest version of Mortal Kombat, aptly titled “Mortal Kombat”, feels familiar enough to remind me of those days while packing enough new content, awesome visuals, and totally over the top brutality to make it well worth a play through.
Filed under: Games | Tagged: armless combat, babality, bad voice acting, challenge tower, Cyrax, Elrood, fatality, Goro, headless combat, Jax, Johnny Cage, Kung-Lao, Liu Kang, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat review, over the top violence, Raiden, Scorpion, Sektor, self aware, SET A DUDE ON FIRE, Shang Tsung, Shao Khan, Sindel, Sonya Blade, story mode, Sub-Zero, The Krypt | 1 Comment »
Authors Note: While this is a review of Cataclysm, I’m writing it from the perspective of somebody who has a pretty good idea of how WoW works already. What I’m trying to say is that this isn’t the most MMO or WoW noob friendly review. Actually what I’m REALLY trying to say is: Sorry Zenestex.
So readers of Faceplant, some of you probably remember back when World of Warcraft: Cataclysm came out I posted an impressions article. Well actually, who am I kidding, most of you probably don’t. (That article is here!) I wrote that to give an impression while it was all still fresh, but I never considered it to be a true review. MMO’s are that breed of game that are insanely difficult to review. Experiencing all the content is almost impossible. Patches come in all the time, adding new stuff, making some things better, totally breaking others, a review is only a snapshot in time of an MMO. However, as the first major patch of the post Cata WoW approaches (patch 4.1, for the record) I want to give Cataclysm an actual review. As somebody who has played the game since back in the vanilla WoW days it’s somewhat amazing to see where the game is now compared to where it was. So let’s nerd out hardcore and see what the results were of Deathwing obliterating a good chunk of Azeroth.
Filed under: Games | Tagged: archaeology, azeroth, Blackwing Descent, Blizzard, Cata, Cataclysm review, deathwing, Deepholm, dps, Elrood, healer, heroics, hunter, instance, Lich King, NPC, paladin, phasing, questing, raiding, tank, thralls balls, Uldum, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, WoW, xp | 2 Comments »
This movie should have worked. I’m not saying The Dilemma should have won Oscars. There was no expectation of an absurdly high meta critic score or massive box office success. This would be no huge monkey maker for the studio. All that being said, going in, it had some things working for it. Vince Vaughn plays that guy Vince Vaughn plays very well, and the trailers quite clearly show he’s basically playing himself. Kevin James is a good if not great comedic actor. Jennifer Connelly and Winona Ryder have proven themselves to be immensely talented actresses, and here they were playing the significant others of our movies leading men. Oh, and somebody named RON HOWARD was directing. He did a few little movies like Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, The Da Vinci Code, and Frost/Nixon. So while I wasn’t expecting a ground breaking movie experience I was expecting one thing. I expected that a comedy with this much talent would make me laugh. Sadly, that was not the case. I know in every movie review I put up here I always say “the less you know about the plot the better”, but forget that this time. I’m going to spoiler the hell out of this movie, because it doesn’t matter. So if, for some reason, you want to avoid spoilers, stop reading now. Keep reading, and wonder with me why what should have been a decent comedy became an unfunny almost drama with characters who don’t even come close to acting like normal people would in their given situation.
Filed under: Movies | Tagged: Apollo 13, Channing Tatum, Elrood, evil Winona Ryder, Frost/Nixon, happy ending, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin James, Ron Howard, slick talkign salesman, The Dilemma, Vince Vaugh, waste of talent, Winona Ryder | 3 Comments »
I feel like I’ve been going down a dark road lately here at ye olde Faceplant. Dead Space 2 and Black Swan are not the lightest entertainment propositions one can have. So before I become like the monkey at the beginning of 28 Days Later, let’s lighten it up a bit. I vowed to myself this year to see more Oscar nominees. I’ve seen five! Two years ago I would have taken in all the possibilities, but of course now the academy saw fit to expand the best picture category to ten films. TEN. Too many, damn it. Anywho, all this led me to watch the Kids are All Right, which is nominated for Best Picture and has Annette Benning nominated for Best Actress (sorry Annette, that race is over, please refer to “Swan, Black”). It has strong performances from all the principal actors involved and is probably most aptly described as a film about a family trying to keep their shit together in some trying circumstances. (But not REALLY trying circumstances, like necromorphs, or turning into water fowl. Happy thoughts today people!) I feel like the best picture nomination might be a byproduct of the aforementioned expansion to ten (TEN!) but this is a film worth watching.
Filed under: Movies | Tagged: american gladiators, Annette bening, best picture, Black Swan, Dead Space 2, Elrood, Josh Hutcherson, Julianne Moore, Laser, Lisa Cholodenko, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Natalite Portman, Oscar nominee, The Kids are All Right | Leave a Comment »
I was a huge fan of the original Dead Space. Visceral Games put together a true survival horror game instead of the action style games with creepy looking enemies that seemed to call themselves survival horror in this generation. It was moody, brooding, and most importantly, had a great atmosphere. So Dead Space 2 has pretty big shoes to fill. Luckily for us, it absolutely keeps the high standard set by the first game. There is no reinvention of the core gameplay, but a couple of shifts in philosophy and small refinements make Dead Space 2 not QUITE as scary as the first, but it’s also prettier, has better controls, and a more compelling story. And trust me, when I say not QUITE as scary, I don’t mean its become Hello Kitty island adventure. The scares are still delightfully disturbing.
Filed under: Games | Tagged: Chrono Trigger, church of unitology, clever girl, creepy, Dead Space, Dead Space 2, Dead Space 2 review, Elrood, gothic horror, I am scared to play dead space, Isaac Clarke, necromorph, Nicole Brennan, Nolan Strauss, plasma cutter, power node, RIG, silent protagonist, strategic dismemberment, the marker, The Sprawl, Visceral Games | 4 Comments »